I’m sharing a fab post from crime novelist Ian Mcfadyen about his writing routine to celebrate the release of Blood Matters #blogtour

Welcome to the blog. I love hearing about author’s writing routines.

My approach to writing

I’m often asked about the process I follow when writing. It isn’t always the same, but the overall approach does tend to follow a similar route. Hopefully by breaking it down into bite sized chunks you’ll get the general idea of how I work – if it’s of interest to you. 

  1. The starting gun!

With my books being Murder Mysteries the catalyst for a new book is always the twist or what I refer to as the kernel of the book. When that idea arrives the whole process starts, with next the creation of new main characters and then the main plot; all manufactured to take the reader along a journey that arrives at the twist/kernel.  

  • Thinking time.

In all, I probably spend 90% of the time I devote to the process when I’m working on a Carmichael book, simply thinking about the plot and working out in my head when I’ll introduce new characters, new clues and red herrings to my reader. As the book nears its conclusion my thoughts start to turn towards how the reader will be told who committed the crime, how they did it (if it’s not obvious) and why. This is a critical phase as it’s the time I decide how I’m going to pull together all the loose ends and the false trails I’ve laid in the previous chapters.  

I may go for days or even weeks without writing, after the book has been started, but I’m almost always thinking about it.

  • When and where I write.

Peace and quiet are essential for me when I’m writing. Also being able to gaze aimlessly out of the window at the world while I write is key, too. For that reason, there are just two places I write from, my home office, or a quiet table overlooking our garden in my Norfolk bolt hole. Both are my creative heavens. 

  • Writing sessions.

People are quite shocked when I tell them that I don’t write every day. They are equally surprised when I tell them that I rarely write more than 1000 words in one session: often as little as just 500. 

I’m an early bird so I only write in the mornings. It’s my productive time. I can start as early as 5am when I have the urge to write, but by about 1pm I find I’ve had enough of tapping away on my keyboard – so I stop.  I keep thinking about the story, though, and what I’ll be writing in the next writing session.

  • Time it takes to produce a book.

This varies, but on average it takes about 9 -12 months to write the first draft and about 3-6 months to check, proofread and generally hone the novel into its final shape.  

  • Proof reading and checking.

This is a key stage in the writing process but, if I’m honest, the least interesting part of writing for me. But it’s essential. Apart from the obvious need to look for grammatical and spelling mistakes, this is a time for making subtle changes to the work to accomplish as good a novel as I can. I solicit help at this stage as I find a fresh pair of eyes invaluable. They always spot errors I’ve missed and may well continue to overlook, however many times I re-read the book.   

  • When to stop.  

This may seem a strange thing to include, but in my view it’s as important as any other stage. A book is the same as a painting or a piece of music. If you so desire, you can carry on forever rewording parts and finely modifying small details. However, there must come a point where you must tell yourself that you’ve polished and honed the work enough and it’s time to publish and let it out into the wide world. Having my next book starting to take over my thoughts is also an excellent sign for me to accept it’s now time to move on.

I hope you’ve found my mini summary of some interest. If not, it’s probably time for you to call time and move on from my ramblings 😊

Here’s the blurb

When the body of Doug Pritchard, an aging music journalist with a history of sensational scoops, is found face down in a dark roadside ditch, DCI Carmichael and his team embark on an investigation that takes them in several directions.
What did Pritchard uncover?
Did that secret bring about his violent demise?
And do the tragic deaths of two local pop idols, twenty years before, have any relevance to his murder?  
As DCI Carmichael delves deeper into the case it becomes clear that, despite the outwardly close connections of the residents of the small hamlet of High Maudsey, neither long term friendships nor family ties should be taken at face value.
This the tenth in his series of well-honed detective novels by Ian McFadyen featuring DCI Carmichael, leads the detective and his team through as many twists and turns as the quiet country lane where Doug Pritchard’s body was discovered
As with all McFadyen’s Carmichael novels, this book is packed with a host of intriguing characters and an expertly crafted plot; and once again the author displays his skill as a writer in the great tradition of English crime novels.

Purchase Link

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Blood-Matters-Ian-McFadyen-ebook/dp/B0DJWGXTSX/

https://www.amazon.com/Blood-Matters-Ian-McFadyen-ebook/dp/B0DJWGXTSX/

Meet the author

Ian McFadyen was born in Liverpool and enjoyed a successful career in marketing before becoming a writer. He lives in Hertfordshire with his wife but spends a great deal of his time writing in his bolthole retreat on the Norfolk / Suffolk border. Blood Matters is the tenth in a series featuring DCI Carmichael.

Author image for Ian 
McFadyen

I’m delighted to share a post from Alice May about her writing routine to celebrate the release of her new book, The Mid-life Trials of Annabeth Hope #blogtour #writingroutine

Novels, ideas and the writing routine by Alice May

I’ve learned in the ten years that I have been writing, that there are many different stages involved in writing a novel. Each stage is different and, as a result, the routine changes accordingly. Writing my new novel, The Mid-life Trials of Annabeth Hope, involved the following stages.

Collecting my tools.

The initial phase of writing a book involves gathering ideas. Getting the right ingredients together, much as one might when baking a cake. A theme or a concept might strike me as interesting, and I’ll keep a mental note of interesting comments and character traits that I hear or see around me. At this point, I know that I will use these elements somewhere, but I’m not sure how, why or where. 

Doing my research

Then comes the research stage. It is important to get this right. Making sure you use accurate information for those parts of your story that chime with reality is essential as this helps to build a bond of trust between writer and reader. Once you have the confidence of your reader, they will follow you wherever your story takes you as long as you remain within the boundaries of the reality you have set from the beginning.

Working the plot

Step three is plotting the story, making sure to hit the right story beats and include the tropes that readers expect, look forward to and find satisfying, whilst trying to add my own angle to them and avoid clichés. I used to write by the seat of my pants, but have learned over the years that an element of plotting saves time and the agony of running into a roadblock and having to start back at the beginning of a manuscript to rewrite the whole thing.

I often start to plot a story based around a particular character and situation. More often than not, though, another character pushes into the narrative and the story becomes more about them. It’s an experimental stage of trying different combinations out to see what has the capacity to sustain a plotline through to the end in a satisfying way. I can’t explain how I know something will work, I just recognise it when I see it.

Then comes the writing phase. 

What precisely triggers the actual writing phase of a novel for me, I couldn’t say. I just know that it is time. All of the above ingredients for the story, the research and the plotting will have marinated sufficiently that I can dive in and write. This phase involves regular computer time; several hours a day if possible. I find early in the morning works best for me as I often wake up with the next part of the book already written in my head. I avoid looking at my phone or checking my emails until I have that new chunk of text wrangled onto the page, because social media and other outside influences will cause the words to disappear.

Of course, once the first draft is complete, then the delights of editing begin…

Life often gets in the way, which throws any form of routine I try to establish into chaos. The important thing to remember as a writer is to make sure that you are kind to yourself. We need to be mindful of deadlines looming, but we need to practice effective self-care. Working non-stop is counter-productive. Taking breaks and taking care of yourself are the keys to everything. 

To all the writers out there, I wish you good luck.

Love 

Alice

Here’s the blurb

Feisty country girl Annabeth Hope has sworn off men since her ex abandoned her. Juggling three resentful step-teens, a hyperactive toddler, a small holding, and a herd of rescued llamas, she has her hands full.

With the roof about to collapse on her crumbling New Forest home, she is desperate to find a way to hold her patchwork family together. The last thing she needs is an attractive distraction moving in next door.

Burnt-out, inner-city doctor Rick Mahon has left London and his medical career behind in a moment of professional crises. A malpractice lawsuit is on the horizon, and the cancel culture are snapping at his heels. His plan to stay under the radar is thrown off course when he meets his new neighbour and sparks start to fly.

Annabeth couldn’t be more different, but maybe they hold the key to each other’s happiness.

‘What more could we want from in life? Family, friends, llamas and hope… An excellent read.’ Jenny Kane, author of the best-selling Mill Grange Series.

Buying Links

The Book Guild 

Amazon 

WHSMITH 

Waterstones 

Meet the author

A former GP surgery manager, school librarian and art teacher,Alice May is mum to four not-so-small children. She is married to the most patient man on the planet, and they live in the New Forest. Alice started writing in 2016 and she enjoyed playing with words so much that now she can’t stop. Alice writes as Alice May, Alice G May and A G May.

Website 

I finally visited Deerhurst, my fictional home for Ealdorman Leofwine in the Earls of Mercia series.

Back in the summer of 2011 (I think), I spent every evening when my children were in bed, trying to plot the possessions of the Earls of Mercia as revealed by the entries in Domesday Book (which I think is a totally normal thing to do).

It was a tedious process, which could be achieved much more quickly these days with Google Maps, but it was what I had available to me. Somewhat frustrated with the process because by that period many of the possessions of the Earls of Mercia and their family were not located in the original area of the Hwicce (roughly Gloucestershire), and aware that Deerhurst (which is in Gloucestershire) has a long history back to the Saxon period, I eventually plonked by ealdorman, Leofwine, (of the Hwicce) close to that location, and indeed, readers of the books will know that I have his family burials there. But, I’d never actually visisted Deerhurst before. Until now.

It is a beautiful location, and I’m sharing some photos from my visit, including The Angel, a surviving piece of Saxon sculpture, outside on the walls (my photos aren’t the best but it’s at a very awkward angle and quite high up the side of the building. You can find a much clearer image here https://www.flickr.com/photos/paulodykes/41119170111).

Deerhurst hosts an annual lecture each year (indeed, it’s on 21st September 2024 this year), and is also open for visitors, for anyone else who fancies visiting. If you can’t make it, you can visit their website, and also order printed copies of the lectures, which I’ve done before now. https://deerhurstfriends.co.uk

And, just around the corner is Odda’s Chapel, another Saxon survivor. I will also share photos from Odda’s Chapel in a few days.

Check out the Earls of Mercia series page.

Posts

Today I’m delighted to be taking part in the blog tour for new historical mystery, Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver #blogtour #BoldwoodBooks

Here’s the blurb

London 1918: Is Fiona Figg ready to exchange her sleuthing cap for a bridal veil?

Fiona is set to tie the knot with her dashing captain, Archie Somersby. But, while Fiona is busy planning her happily ever after, side-kick Kitty Lane and a group of judo-chopping suffragettes are kicking up trouble at the Piccadilly Jujitsu Club.

When Kitty is found unconscious in the locker room during a high-stakes competition, Fiona must forsake her bouquets and bridal gown to investigate. Her sleuthing leads to a posh lady’s luncheon where a mysterious death crashes Fiona’s wedding plans.

To make matters worse, the arch-nemesis of all things matrimonial Fredrick Fredricks is up to his old tricks, attempting to put the brakes on Fiona’s journey down the aisle. Will he succeed in tripping up Fiona’s wedding vows? Or will she finally say “I don’t” to the charming devil?

Graphic for Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/poisonpiccadillysocial

Cover image for Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver

My Review

Poison in Piccadilly is the latest Fiona Figg and Kitty Lane mystery. I’ve read them all.

Told with its tongue-in-cheek humour and with Fiona’s penchant for fake moustaches never far away, this story is set mostly in London, with a quick trip to Ireland, and in a role-reversal, sees Kitty requiring Fiona’s help. All the while, Fiona is supposed to be preparing for her wedding. As ever, torn between the man she’s supposed to trail as he’s suspected of being a spy and her soon-to-be husband, Fiona is never entirely sure who to trust as she investigates the latest mystery to fall in her lap.

With all of the series favourites and many unexpected twists and turns, Poison in Piccadilly is a fun read. For all its humour, I do adore the way this series effortlessly weaves a fictional narrative featuring historical people and events.

You’re missing a treat if you’ve not tried a Fiona Figg ad Kitty Lane story yet.

Check out my review for books 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 in the Fiona Figg and Kitty Lane Mystery books Chaos at Carnegie Hall, Covert in Cairo, Mayhem in the Mountains, Arsenic at Ascot and Murder in Moscow.

Meet the Author

Kelly Oliver is the award-winning, bestselling author of three mysteries series: The Jessica James Mysteries, The Pet Detective Mysteries, and the historical cozies The Fiona Figg Mysteries, set in WW1. She is also the Distinguished Professor of Philosophy at Vanderbilt University and lives in Nashville, Tennessee

Connect with Kelly

Bookbub profile: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kelly-oliver

Newsletter Sign Up: https://bit.ly/KellyOlivernews

Banner image for Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver

I’m delighted to share my review for A Corpse in Christmas Close by Michelle Salter #historicalmystery #cosycrime #highlyrecommended

Here’s the blurb

When a pantomime turns deadly, Iris investigates a cast of killers…

Christmas, 1923. When reporter Iris Woodmore is sent to cover the Prince of Wales’ visit to historic Winchester, she discovers more than just royal gossip.

The leading lady in Winchester Cathedral’s charity pantomime is found dead in mysterious circumstances. And the chief suspect is Cinderella’s handsome prince, played by Percy Baverstock’s younger brother, Freddie.

For the sake of the Baverstocks, Iris must investigate the murder, even though it means confronting an old enemy. And as the line between friend and foe blurs dangerously, she’s ensnared by someone she hoped she’d never see again…

Everyone’s favourite amateur sleuth returns for a Christmas mystery, perfect for fans of Verity Bright, Claire Gradidge and Emily Organ.

 Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/christmasclosesocial

My Review

I love a new Iris Woodmore 1920s mystery, and A Corpse in Christmas Close is as well-plotted and deeply grounded in the historical events of the day as the previous books in the series.

Iris is a great main character. She is tenacious and outspoken, aware of society’s conventions but often keen to ignore them. She and her fellow cast members are all well-drawn and believable.

I almost always determine how much I love a mystery by whether I work out the culprit or not, and once more, I was caught out by the resolution for A Corpse in Christmas Close.

The pacing is great. I’m looking forward to Iris’ next adventure.

Check out my review for Death at Crookham Hall, Murder at Waldenmere Lake, The Body at Carnival Bridge, and A Killing At Smugglers Cove.

Image of A Corpse in Christmas Close on a snowy background

Meet the author

Michelle Salter writes historical cosy crime set in Hampshire, where she lives, and inspired by real-life events in 1920s Britain. Her Iris Woodmore series draws on an interest in the aftermath of the Great War and the suffragette movement.

Connect with Michelle 

Bookbub profile

Newsletter Sign Up

Blog banner for A Corpse in Christmas Close

Posts

The historical setting for The Custard Corpses #mystery #histfic #history

Setting for The Custard Corpses, my first foray into historical mysteries

The Custard Corpses is set during the 1920s, 1930s and 1940s. I wanted to make the book as authentic as possible, even though I’m not a historian of that time period. When I was first studying history at school, I always found it strange to think of it as history as I had grandparents who had lived through the 1920s, 1930s and 1940s (my old granny was born in 1901, my mother’s parents in 1920 and my father’s parents in 1926 and 1928). That’s probably why I’ve never written about the period before.

Getting the names right

I wanted to ensure I was using names and places that existed at the time, and I didn’t want to inadvertently make any silly mistakes – a few beta readers pointed out I was using metric measurements, when they should have been imperial in the 1940s. They thought it was sweet that I’d never known the world of imperial numbers (and money).

Maps and train routes

So, I spent quite a bit of time hunting down random facts; maps of the time period, tram and train routes (which you can find online, but I had some old maps), pictures of cars, police uniforms at the time, advertisements of the time and also editions of the Picture Post magazine. At one point, I wanted a celebrity scandal, and there it was, on the cover of a magazine. 

Map of Erdington from the era

Newspaper Archives

I was amazed by the information that I could find by accessing archives ( and also that which I couldn’t find), and I was especially impressed by the ‘history’ section on the Birmingham.gov website, and by those local newspapers that have archives available online – such as the Inverness newspaper and the Birmingham Mail. There’s also a whole aerial photo website that I could have used, but I couldn’t quite work it out. 

Family memories

I was also lucky in that I set the book somewhere I have childhood memories of, and also that a family member spent their early years in Erdington. It was funny to realise the parts that they especially remembered – such as the fact that some of the buses were still open-topped at the time, and the liveries that buses were decorated with. The Birmingham that I remember is very different to the one that exists now, and the one that existed in the 1940s. My memories of Birmingham consist of the dodgy car park we used, the train journey we used to take in the old carriages with individual doors (they were old in my day) and shopping for jeans.

I also made some use of the 1911 census records, and the Office for National Statistics spreadsheet which lists all the most popular names in decades. It made it easy to devise names for the characters. It also helped that while the 1940s is ‘history’ it’s much more relatable to me than the period before 1066, when I usually set my stories, so provided I didn’t use the internet in the story itself (and only as a research tool), or refer to cms, it was just about authentic, I hope. And did allow for the use of cars and telephones.

Check out The Erdington Mysteries page for more information.

(This is a blog post I wrote in 2021 and which I can’t find on my blog, so I’m sharing it.)

Posts

Jorvik/York at the time of the Brunanburh Series, (and before)

Eboracum/Eoforwic/Jorvik

When I first wrote Kings of Conflict, I had very little idea what Jorvik at the time (the 930s/940s) might have looked like. I wrote an entire battle scene and then realised some of my assumptions were very, very wrong (I do this all the time. Don’t feel sorry for me. I should just do the research first instead of giving free rein to my imagination.) I got the fact the settlement was split in two by the River Ouse wrong (and who knew about the Foss). But, most tellingly, what I failed to understand was the true nature of York, from its Roman origins as Eboracum to the age of Jorvik, and most importantly by that I mean its Roman walls and what might, or might not have still been standing at this period.

We don’t (yet) have time machines. We can’t visit York in the 940s, but if there is one thing York is famous for it’s the archaeology, and the Jorvik Viking Centre, which offers a recreation of what those streets on Coppergate might once have looked like, and also much else. And because Jorvik/York has benefitted from so much archaeological work, there are also a series of maps showing York at various times in its lifetime, alas out of print at this time, but which can be accessed via a good library (my thanks to the Great Northern Library at the Hancock museum in Newcastle – if you want to see it then let them know so they can have it ready for you, and make note of their opening hours) or the amalgamation of this work available in An Historical Map of York, available from all good book sellers. And if not, then my favourite ‘go-to’ for recreating this time period, the antiquarian maps by John Speed (which are also much prettier) can also offer some information.

York from the John Speed map opf the West Riding of Yorkshire
York, from John Speed’s West Riding of Yorkshire map (own photo)

Roman York

The British Historic Towns Atlas Volume V, York ed. Peter Addyman provides the following information about Eboracum-Roman York.

It might have been occupied under Vettius Bolanus (69-71) but was truly founded under Emperor Vespasian (69-79). However, the ridge of the River Ouse was a routeway from the Neolithic onwards. This was in the territory of the Brigantes although the East Riding of Yorkshire was that of the Parisi. It is possible that Eboracum means ‘the place of the yew trees.’

The stone used in constructing the fortress was Magnesian Limestone from Tadcaster and Millstone Grit from Bramham Park (I love that they know this). To begin with the fortress had a ditch, rampart and timber structures and four gates, with the original towers up to 15 metres high. And here, there is the suggestion that to begin with, crossing the River Ouse (to get to the civilian settlement) was via ferry. The bridge can only be confirmed from the second century onwards. The Foss River was also tidal at this time and the banks sloped sharply. The rampart was widened from 20feet to about 42 feet during a second phase of occupation.

The end of Roman York is impossible to pinpoint. Did it cease to exist? Certainly, the last documentary reference was in 314 when York’s bishop, Eborus, attended the Council of Arles, but as with so many of these Roman settlements in Britannia, what happened afterwards is more difficult to determine and we must turn to archaeology and not written records.

I think this is from the exhibition at Micklegate Bar but I could be wrong. It very clearly shows the two ‘halves’ of the walls.

I must admit, all of this information about Roman York makes me somewhat desperate to write a book about it:) (Don’t all groan).

Anglian York – Eoforwic

The creators of this series of maps make the point that this is the most speculative of the series. Put simply, they really don’t know what was happening.

What can be said is that the walls were renovated on the north west side of the fortress with a dry stone wall and cobbled sentry walk while the eastern ramparts were topped with a timble palisade wider than the Roman wall (if I’ve understood that correctly).

Eoforwic first enters the historical record as the place of baptism for Edwin in 627, the king of Northumbria (Deira and Bernicia combined).

‘…the king was baptised at Easter with all his chief men; that Easter was on 12 April. This was done in York, where earlier he had ordered a church to be built of wood.’ ASC E 626 p.25

The archbishopric began from 735, but Eoforwic was not densely settled at this period, although it does seem to have had many, many churches. This includes the Minster, St Michael-Le-Belfrey, Holy Trinity, St Peter the Little, St Martin, St Michael, and many more, all probably founded by 850.

Map of Britain in the tenth century, showing York (map design by Flintlock Covers).

Viking York – Jorvik

It’s record that the first attack Viking attack on York occured on 1st November 866. The Northumbrians counter-attacked in 867 but this left York under Viking control.

‘Here the raiding-army went from East Anglia over the mouth of the Humber to York city in Northumbria;’ ASC A 867 corrected to 866 p.68 (from my preferred edition edited by Michael Swanton).

And here is where my notes become a little muddled between time periods. The British Historic Towns Atlas Volume V informs that the River Ouse at the time would have been tidal, and much wider than it is now and also with much steeper banks .

The late-eighth-century scholar Alcuin describes York as having high walls and lofty towers (he spent time in York). Asser (Alfred’s late-tenth-century biographer – although I’m curious as to how he’d know as I’m sure he was from one of the Welsh kingdoms and York was not under Alfred’s control) suggests that York’s walls were insecure and there is a suggestion that the Vikings restored the walls. Considering what we know about Asser and his ability to be less than honest, we might suspect this statement. Certainly, the remains of the walls were visible but whether they were defensible is unknown.

The walls survive to this day. To paraphrase from the Atlas, from the western corner of the Roman fortress to fifty metres along its south-west front, parallel to the river, the Roman wall is still visible above ground. Beyond this point, its six projecting interval towers and the Roman south/west gateway leading to the bridge over the Ouse have either been demolished to foundation level or been covered by organic-rich debris of post-Conquest date. The fortress’s south corner tower at Freasgate survives to fifteen foot. It is suggested that the south-west section of the civilian settlement might not have been included in the walled defences.

On the northern banks of the River Ouse, there were plots about 5.5m wide occupied by one or more structures (Coppergate/Ousegate/Pavement) with backyards running downslope towards the River Foss. Hungate also had similar plots. There might have been crossings over the rivers below St Mary Castlegate and Hungate. These rectangular structures of post and wattle had entrances front and back, with centrally arranged hearths and roofs made of turf, reeds or straw. Most settlement was below Coppergate, Ousegate, Pavement, Hungate and Walmgate areas.

Recreating Jorvik?

But what does all this mean when trying to recreate the time period? (Some will know that I’ve already ‘visited’ York earlier in the Brunanburh series, and without all this angst). It is frustrating that some aspects are so clearly defined and others aren’t. Where were the people living – especially the high status people? Where were the kings living? In King’s Square/Kuningesgard? And what’s this about the civilian defences never being completed to the south?

My overwhelming impression is that the remains of the actual Roman encampment (to the north of the Ouse) were in better condition than those to the south of the Ouse surrounding the civilian settlement (there are ‘proper’ terms for this – I’m not using them). But, these remains of the Roman wall at the fort seem to have largely been surrounding the religious centre under the control of the Archbishop of York, Wulfstan I. Were they any use to those in control of Jorvik? And what about the rivers? How navigable were they? Could they be easily blocked? How tidal is tidal? Did it raise and lower the water level by metres or centimetres?

Was there even a bridge over the River Ouse or did they need to use a boat to get across? Perhaps there was only one bridge over the Ouse, and only one over the River Foss.

Having this information to hand and making sense of it are two very different things. How would someone have gone about attacking York? Would they have taken ships, come on foot or tried to steal their way inside through the never completed walls? Who would have protected it? What would our erstwhile holy man, Archbishop Wulfstan have done? If the walls were standing, how many warriors would have needed to protect it?

You’ll have to read Conflict of Kings to see just what I did, and you can from 6th August 2024:)

books2read.com/KingsOfConflict10th

Check out the Brunanburh series page for more information.

Posts

I’m delighted to welcome back Simon Yeats with an extract from How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips #blogtour #travelmemoir

Avoid looking silly

While traveling on an overnight train from Barcelona to Madrid, my friends and I had an unexpected discovery when we got to our cabin.

Sheilds, Jim, Nicole, and I work our way down the carriages. We pass through the non-operative dining car to arrive at the entrance to our seated cabin. I slide open the door and am surprised to find the small compartment already full of people. It is a six-person sitting cabin and there are eight bodies already squeezed in. Not just any people, either.

They are gypsies.

There is an uncomfortable silence among everyone present who is not a gypsy before I speak.

“Um, is this your cabin?” I ask.

“Of course,” one gypsy replies.

I nod, turn, and shoo my companions back into the dining car.

“Are they in our cabin?” Sheilds asks.

“I don’t know. They say it is theirs,” I answer. “Are we sure we have the right wagon?”

“I am sure that is our cabin,” Sheilds declares. “They need to leave.”

She extends her arm and points towards the corridor that leads to our cabin. What? Sheilds expects me to go back and throw them out? Why me? Why do we not simply take advantage of all this open space in the empty dining car for the trip? Nicole gives me an expectant look as well. Great. Now I must impress my future wife. I take a slow, deep breath. Surely Gypsies are not as dangerous as the German Mafia. I keep repeating this to myself as I walk back to the door of the cabin filled with the unwelcome, and unwashed, guests.

I slide open the door cautiously. Every pair of gypsy eyes in the room turn to me. I gulp.

“Excuse me. Do you have tickets for this cabin?” I firmly ask.

The gypsies disclose their complete surprise at being put on the spot for overtaking a cabin that is not theirs.

“We do not need tickets. We are gypsies.”

“We like this cabin.”

“We are gypsies, we mean you no harm,” one coyly remarks.

“I am sorry. If you do not have a ticket for this room, you need to get out,” I state, while standing at the door looking as menacing as I can as my knees are shaking.

Here’s the blurb

The best has been saved to last. Book 3 of a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as Cholera in the 1850s.

From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to rupture a disc or succumb to Dengue fever. 

The book cover for How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips by Simon Yeats

Purchase Links 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/

Barnes and Noble

Meet the author

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Author image of Simon Yeats showing a man wearing glasses.

Connect with the author

TIK TOK – https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats

INSTAGRAM – https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/?hl=en

Blog tour poster listing all the blogs that that How to survive making yourselflook silly while dancing with the gernman mafia will be visiting

The Last Alliance: Balancing Realism and Audience Relatability: AKA What’s with all the d*** swearing

With the release of a new title in The Last King series, The Last Alliance, I thought it time to address the ‘elephant’ in the room – all that d*** swearing, and not just swearing, but the heavy almost grotesque use of one particular swear word which some will bend over backwards to assure you was used no earlier than the sixteenth century (in the written records), 700 years after the books are set. (Check out Holy Sh*t by Melissa Mohr for a history of swearing.)

I’m not writing in Old English

Well, first things first, lovely people, aside from the names of the characters in these books, and perhaps the word ‘witan,’ every word in these books is modern-English. I’ve not attempted to have my characters sound ‘ye olde worldy’ and that was very intentional. Although, it seems, that s*** is, indeed, Old English. So, forget that, there is another word in there that is also Old English. (Check out the will of King Alfred, and Eadred for some Old English https://blogs.bl.uk/digitisedmanuscripts/2013/07/the-last-will-and-testament-of-alfred-the-great.html)

The UK/US divide around swearing

I wanted my characters to swear. There, I’ve said it. I wanted them to swear and to shock with their language, but I also wanted them to sound like people today. Not everyone swears, admittedly, but most people do. In the UK, we have no problem with the F-word, although US audiences are horrified by it. In the UK, we don’t like the C-word, which in the US, is just fine and dandy – apparently. We swear and we curse and we’re not even (most of us) fighting for our lives against a deadly enemy, which my characters are forced to do.

Am I a potty-mouth?

I’ve had reviewers decry the swearing. I’ve even had reviewers decide the swearing in the books is because I somehow lack the intelligence to write a novel without swearing. Perhaps, most amusingly, a close friend was astounded by the language in the books – I am not, it seems, a potty-mouth in ‘real life’ (although, I can be pushed to it).

‘Oh dear me, that smarts.’

My characters face a life-and-death situation almost every day of their lives. I don’t think they’ll be sitting there saying, ‘oh dear me, that smarts,’ when they’re wounded, or even, ‘oh goodness me, I’ve killed that man.’ They are lethal, bloody and violent, and for all that, they are very relatable to a modern-audience perhaps struggling to truly comprehend what life ‘might’ have been like in Saxon England as the Viking raiders threatened the safety of all.

There are Cleaner Version

That said, I have no intention of forcing people to cast the books aside if they don’t like the swearing. There are also ‘Cleaner Versions‘, without much of the foul language. It tones it down a little, but the violence is not diminished.

Enjoy the fast-paced action

So, whether you love the swearing or not, you can still enjoy the tales of Coelwulf II, and book 9, The Last Alliance is available now in ebook, paperback, hardback and the Cleaner Version on kindle as well. And remember, allowing my characters to swear was done purposefully, indeed, on initial feedback, I actually added a lot more:)

I’m delighted to welcome back Simon Yeats with an extract from How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips #blogtour #travelmemoir

Here’s an excerpt from How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

My friends wanted to go to Tijuana while they were visiting me in Los Angeles. Then things got out of control.

 After crossing the walking bridge over the Tijuana River, which serves as both the city’s sewerage outlet and major water supply, a person enters Zona Centro. I count nine strip clubs on the first street. Ten, if I include Déjà Vu Showgirls back on the other side of the river. This is my favorite thing to do when traveling – count.

Within ten minutes of being in Tijuana, the three of us are bored. Any person who is not crazy about buying knickknacks with a Mexican flag on them would be bored. We could have stayed at the Outlet Mall and been as bored, while being closer to the car. I make a joke with Jim that it is a good thing we are not here to watch the mythical Tijuana woman and donkey show.

Jim and Sheilds’ ears prick up.

What is that about a grotesque sex show that allegedly exists somewhere along the pristine streets of Tijuana?

“Do you know where they have it?”

“I have no idea.”

“We have to see it.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes, we do. We are going.”

“We are not going to sit through a fucking matinee of a woman getting amorous with a donkey.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Explain to me again why we are mates, Sheilds?”

The mere idea of the existence of a woman and donkey show churns my stomach. This is Tijuana’s legend. A dirty, disgusting myth that should only arouse blind drunk sailors and animal activists. But Jim and Sheilds are all over it like white on rice. These two deviants were made for each other. 

I try to explain to them that it is a fable. Like the lost gold city of El Dorado, the resting place of Noah’s Ark, or the now uninteresting Bermuda triangle. However, the genie is out of the bottle. They insist we are going to find it and watch. 

For God’s sake, why?

An important tip to remember when traveling in a group that is looking to find a cheap thrill. Make sure the weird sexual proclivities of all members are closely aligned. Or, if a person is as boring as I am, only travel with people who have been desexed.

Sheilds and Jim do not seem to understand, or care. If this show really existed, its story would not be shrouded in a veil of mystery, now would it? It is certainly not marked on any of the maps of walking tours of Tijuana.

“We need to get out of the main tourist area, then.”

“Hell no,” I scream. “If I can’t be so close to the border that when I yell ‘help,’ a US marine is within earshot, we do not go a fucking step further.”

“Pussy.”

“Pussy.”

These two are paying no mind to the inherent dangers of being in the most dangerous city on earth. The town with the world’s highest murder rate per capita. They are adamant that no cost is too high to find the club that has the women and donkey show.

“We are on an adventure.”

Here’s the blurb

Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Bubonic Plague in the 1300s.

From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to lose an eye or damage your liver. 

Purchase Links 

https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Mugged-Janeiro-Singing-Police-ebook/dp/B0CPCBMD1N/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Getting-Mugged-Janeiro-Singing-Police-ebook/dp/B0CPCBMD1N/

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-avoid-getting-mugged-in-rio-de-janeiro-by-singing-songs-by-the-police-and-other-lesser-known-travel-tips-yeats/1144543933?ean=9798223326014

Meet the author

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Connect with the author

TIK TOK – https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats

INSTAGRAM – https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/?hl=en