Rachel’s Random Resources – Page 9

I’m reviewing Rebellion by Richard Cullen, the first part in a new historical fiction action and adventure series set in the thirteenth century #blogtour #histfic

Here’s the blurb

The start of an epic new historical adventure series from Richard Cullen introducing The Black Lion

As war approaches, the lion will roar…

1213AD.

King Richard the Lionheart is dead, and his brother, John Lackland, sits uneasily upon the throne of England.

Across the sea, Prince Louis, heir to the powerful King Philip Augustus of France, looks to King John’s crown with a covetous eye.

But King John must be wary of rebellion, as well as invasion, for even his own barons would see their king unseated, and the French pretender put in his place.

Thrust amid this tumult is young Estienne Wace, orphan squire to Earl William Marshal – the greatest knight to ever serve the kings of England, and one of the few men who still holds faith in King John’s rule.

Raised by Marshal as his ward, Estienne must prove himself worthy of his adopted father’s name, but acceptance may be the least of his troubles. War is looming, as usurpers emerge from every quarter, determined to steal England’s crown from its most wretched king.

Perfect for the fans of Bernard Cornwell, Ben Kane and Conn Iggulden.

Cover image for Rebellion by Richard Cullen

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/RebellionSocial

My Review

Rebellion by Richard Cullen is the first in a new series featuring young Estienne, an orphan sent to be raised in the household of the fabulous William Marshal in the final troubled years of King John’s reign. (You may have noticed that I’m a huge William Marshal fan—I wasn’t expecting to find him in this book, so I was very pleased.)

Estienne quickly makes an enemy for himself in the form of one of the other squires while showing his loyalty and fierce desire to succeed. In the process, he wins the high regard of William Marshal and two of his older sons.

The story is very busy. A lot is happening as rebellion against King John builds, and there’s the threat of invasion from France, and Estienne finds himself at the heart of much of it. This leads to some good battle scenes and harsh depictions of life in a siege. I did feel a bit sorry for his poor horse and the miles he had to journey. Although I knew the period’s history, I still found it very enjoyable to follow Estienne’s role in it all. He does witness many of the major elements and, of course, gets to face off against his enemy, although he never discovers his identity.

This is a thrilling start to a new series, and I’m excited to see what happens to Estienne in the future. It is sure to appeal to fans of the genre and those interested in the events of King John’s reign. And, we can’t forget, it features the fabulous William Marshal in all his wonderful glory.

Meet the author

Richard Cullen is a writer of historical adventure and epic fantasy. His historical adventure series Chronicles of the Black Lion is set in thirteenth-century England.

Connect with the author

Newsletter Sign Up: https://bit.ly/RichardCullenNews

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It’s cover reveal time for Candlelight Dreams in Cosy Cove by Abbey Hicks #newrelease #preorder #blogtour #sweetromance

Here’s the blurb

Welcome to Cosy Cove, where love burns brighter than any candle!

Beth Williams thought her dreams had melted away after a devastating breakup, but she finds a flicker of hope at Harbour Lights, her artisan candle shop nestled in the heart of Cosy Cove. But just when Beth thinks she’s content with her quiet life, a ruggedly handsome stranger threatens to reignite her carefully guarded heart.

Enter Jacob Lawson, a charming journalist whose assignment in the quaint seaside town quickly becomes more than just another story. As Beth introduces him to the town’s hidden gems—from the bustling summer fair to sunset walks on the beach—Jacob finds himself captivated by more than the scenery.

But as their attraction simmers, both Beth and Jacob must confront their deepest fears. Can Beth trust her heart to love again? And will Jacob choose the comfort of Cosy Cove over the call of his career?

Join Beth and Jacob on a journey of second chances, sweet moments, and the kind of love that makes every day feel like a summer holiday. Will they find the courage to embrace a future together, or will their fears extinguish the flame before it truly ignites?

Get ready to fall head over heels for Cosy Cove, where every page promises a warm hug for your heart. Perfect for fans of seaside romances, charming small towns, and love stories that sparkle brighter than the sea at sunset!

Cover image for Candlelight Dreams in Cosy Cove by Abbey Hicks

Pre-order Links

Abbey Hicks Payhip shop: www.payhip.com/AbbeyHicksAuthor

Candlelight Dreams direct link on Payhip:

Candlelight Dreams in Cosy Cove ebook pre-order: Cosy Cove Series, book 1 – Payhip

Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DHWRXRGZ

Universal link: https://books2read.com/CandlelightCosyCove

Publication Date – 28^th February 2025

Meet the author

Abbey Hicks writes sweet, feel-good romance filled with dashing heroes, quirky heroines, and those heart-melting happily ever afters. Whether it’s contemporary romance or paranormal love stories, she brings her signature charm and a sprinkle of magic to every page.

Writing as Abbey MacMunn, her debut paranormal romance was shortlisted for the prestigious Joan Hessayon Award for new writers. Since then, Abbey has written eleven more books, including the bestselling steamy paranormal romcom series, Love Bites: A Dating Agency for Paranormals.

When she’s not dreaming up her next romantic hero, you’ll find her on walks with her mischievous but lovable labradoodle, Brody, or binge-watching anything from romcoms to fantasy/sci-fi. If it has romance, adventure, and a dash of humour, she’s there!

Abbey Hicks

Connect with the author

Abbey Hicks Payhip shop: www.payhip.com/AbbeyHicksAuthor

Today I’m delighted to be taking part in the blog tour for new historical mystery, Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver #blogtour #BoldwoodBooks

Here’s the blurb

London 1918: Is Fiona Figg ready to exchange her sleuthing cap for a bridal veil?

Fiona is set to tie the knot with her dashing captain, Archie Somersby. But, while Fiona is busy planning her happily ever after, side-kick Kitty Lane and a group of judo-chopping suffragettes are kicking up trouble at the Piccadilly Jujitsu Club.

When Kitty is found unconscious in the locker room during a high-stakes competition, Fiona must forsake her bouquets and bridal gown to investigate. Her sleuthing leads to a posh lady’s luncheon where a mysterious death crashes Fiona’s wedding plans.

To make matters worse, the arch-nemesis of all things matrimonial Fredrick Fredricks is up to his old tricks, attempting to put the brakes on Fiona’s journey down the aisle. Will he succeed in tripping up Fiona’s wedding vows? Or will she finally say “I don’t” to the charming devil?

Graphic for Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/poisonpiccadillysocial

Cover image for Poison in Piccadilly by Kelly Oliver

My Review

Poison in Piccadilly is the latest Fiona Figg and Kitty Lane mystery. I’ve read them all.

Told with its tongue-in-cheek humour and with Fiona’s penchant for fake moustaches never far away, this story is set mostly in London, with a quick trip to Ireland, and in a role-reversal, sees Kitty requiring Fiona’s help. All the while, Fiona is supposed to be preparing for her wedding. As ever, torn between the man she’s supposed to trail as he’s suspected of being a spy and her soon-to-be husband, Fiona is never entirely sure who to trust as she investigates the latest mystery to fall in her lap.

With all of the series favourites and many unexpected twists and turns, Poison in Piccadilly is a fun read. For all its humour, I do adore the way this series effortlessly weaves a fictional narrative featuring historical people and events.

You’re missing a treat if you’ve not tried a Fiona Figg ad Kitty Lane story yet.

Check out my review for books 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 in the Fiona Figg and Kitty Lane Mystery books Chaos at Carnegie Hall, Covert in Cairo, Mayhem in the Mountains, Arsenic at Ascot and Murder in Moscow.

Meet the Author

Kelly Oliver is the award-winning, bestselling author of three mysteries series: The Jessica James Mysteries, The Pet Detective Mysteries, and the historical cozies The Fiona Figg Mysteries, set in WW1. She is also the Distinguished Professor of Philosophy at Vanderbilt University and lives in Nashville, Tennessee

Connect with Kelly

Bookbub profile: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/kelly-oliver

Newsletter Sign Up: https://bit.ly/KellyOlivernews

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I’m reviewing Valhalla’s Fury by Donovan Cook #blogtour #newrelease #historicalfiction

Here’s the blurb

Abandoned by his people and destined for Valhalla, do not stand in the way of his fury.

Ribe is lost, its hall burnt, and Charles is still missing. Sven must once more sail into dangerous waters to rescue his grandson.

King Louis of East Francia, the man who took Sven’s son from him almost twenty years ago, has Charles captive and uses him to force Sven to do his bidding and create chaos raiding his brothers Kingdom of West Frankia.

The long awaited meeting of Charles and his mother, Abbess Hildegard, is not what Charles dreamed it would be and soon it becomes clear that Charles is in even more danger. Torn between the heathen gods and his Christian god, Charles must decide where his future lies.

Sven must fight if he wants to see Charles again and keep the Cross of Charlemagne out of the hands of the Frankish kings. The only thing that Sven knows is that to save Charles, innocent people must die.

Cover image for Valhalla's Fury by Donovan Cook

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/ValhallasFury

Graphic for Valhalla's Fury by Donovan Cook

My Review

Valhalla’s Fury is the final book in the Charlemagne’s Cross Series, bringing to an end this enthralling series set in the 800s, pitching the Danes against the Franks, or certainly, some of them. I’ve read all of the books and you can check out my reviews below.

All seems impossible in this final book as Sven desperately wishes to rescue Charles from the clutches of the Franks, whereas Charles is something of a pawn in the hands of his Frankish grandfather.

The storyline quickly separates Charles and Sven once more, and we see glimpses of life in a Frankish town as well as in a Viking encampment deep in the heart of West Frankia, through the eyes of our two main characters. The narrative builds as the reader is left wondering how on earth the two can possibly be reunited, or if all will end in disaster, I don’t want to say either way, but it is a solid ending for this enthralling tale.

Fans of the genre will delight in the concluding tale of Sven the Boar and Charles. Check out my reviews for Odin’s Betrayal, Loki’s Deceit and Thor’s Revenge.

Meet the author

Donovan Cook is the author of the well-received Ormstunga Saga series and the Charlemagne’s Cross series, both of which combine fast-paced narrative with meticulously researched history of the Viking world and are inspired by his interest in Norse Mythology. Donovan was born in South Africa but raised in England.

Connect with Donovan

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BookBub Profile

I’m delighted to share my review for A Corpse in Christmas Close by Michelle Salter #historicalmystery #cosycrime #highlyrecommended

Here’s the blurb

When a pantomime turns deadly, Iris investigates a cast of killers…

Christmas, 1923. When reporter Iris Woodmore is sent to cover the Prince of Wales’ visit to historic Winchester, she discovers more than just royal gossip.

The leading lady in Winchester Cathedral’s charity pantomime is found dead in mysterious circumstances. And the chief suspect is Cinderella’s handsome prince, played by Percy Baverstock’s younger brother, Freddie.

For the sake of the Baverstocks, Iris must investigate the murder, even though it means confronting an old enemy. And as the line between friend and foe blurs dangerously, she’s ensnared by someone she hoped she’d never see again…

Everyone’s favourite amateur sleuth returns for a Christmas mystery, perfect for fans of Verity Bright, Claire Gradidge and Emily Organ.

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/christmasclosesocial

My Review

I love a new Iris Woodmore 1920s mystery, and A Corpse in Christmas Close is as well-plotted and deeply grounded in the historical events of the day as the previous books in the series.

Iris is a great main character. She is tenacious and outspoken, aware of society’s conventions but often keen to ignore them. She and her fellow cast members are all well-drawn and believable.

I almost always determine how much I love a mystery by whether I work out the culprit or not, and once more, I was caught out by the resolution for A Corpse in Christmas Close.

The pacing is great. I’m looking forward to Iris’ next adventure.

Check out my review for Death at Crookham Hall, Murder at Waldenmere Lake, The Body at Carnival Bridge, and A Killing At Smugglers Cove.

Image of A Corpse in Christmas Close on a snowy background

Meet the author

Michelle Salter writes historical cosy crime set in Hampshire, where she lives, and inspired by real-life events in 1920s Britain. Her Iris Woodmore series draws on an interest in the aftermath of the Great War and the suffragette movement.

Connect with Michelle

Bookbub profile

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I’m delighted to be reviewing A Deadly Affair by EV Hunter, the fifth book in her Hopgood Hall Murder Mystery Series #blogtour #cosycrime

Here’s the blurb

A local gossip is about to get her just desserts!

Life at Hopgood Hall is never boring, but Alexi Ellis hopes that there will be no more murders for the time being – she’s solved four already and is getting a reputation in the local area for being bad luck.

So when local gossip Polly Pearson arrives at Hopgood hall, Alexi knows this can only mean bad news. Polly has made it clear that she dislikes Alexi, and has campaigned for her to leave Hopgood Hall forever – so what could Polly want?

Then Polly reveals that her partner, Gerry has been found murdered in her B&B and that she is the main suspect! Alexi, her partner Jack and Cosmo the cat are all left speechless. More so when Polly begs Alexi for help improving her innocence.

But Alexi isn’t sure she wants to help this spiteful gossip. Is she really innocent or as deadly as the police believe her to be?

Cover imahe for A Deadly Affair by EV Hunter, with Cosmo, the scene stealing cat, taking centre stage.

Purchase Link

https://mybook.to/deadlyaffairsocial

My Review

A Deadly Affair is the latest book in the Hopgood Hall Murder Mystery series. I’ve read them all.

By now, we know our main characters, Jack and Alexi, well. However, they are still asking questions about their relationship, and I’m afraid this aspect of the series is my least favourite. Luckily, Cosmo comes to the rescue more often than not.

The mystery itself is complex and well-plotted as our sleuths try to understand why Gerry has been murdered. It quickly transpires that all is not as simple as it first appears. Lambourn is filled with dodgy individuals, any of whom could have been the ones involved.

The resolution of the mystery unfolds quickly. I always say I judge a mystery by whether or not I guessed ‘who did it,’ and I did not see this one coming.

These mysteries often have quite a dark underbelly to them (a nod to the author’s other genre, I’m sure), and this one, similar to book 1, fits that bill. It is not quite as cosy as I prefer (because I’m a big wuss), but that doesn’t detract from the fine plotting and masterful way the mystery has been plotted by the author. I take my hat off to EV Hunter for that:)

A Date to Die For

A Contest to Kill For

A Marriage to Murder For

I have read book 4, A Story to Strangle For, but I’ve failed to review on the blog.

Cover image for A Deadly Affair by EV Hunter

Meet the author

Evie Hunter has written a great many successful regency romances as Wendy Soliman and is now redirecting her talents to produce dark gritty thrillers for Boldwood. For the past twenty years she has lived the life of a nomad, roaming the world on interesting forms of transport, but has now settled back in the UK.

Connect with EV Hunter

Newsletter Sign Up

Bookbub profile

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I’m delighted to welcome back Simon Yeats with an extract from How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips #blogtour #travelmemoir

Avoid looking silly

While traveling on an overnight train from Barcelona to Madrid, my friends and I had an unexpected discovery when we got to our cabin.

Sheilds, Jim, Nicole, and I work our way down the carriages. We pass through the non-operative dining car to arrive at the entrance to our seated cabin. I slide open the door and am surprised to find the small compartment already full of people. It is a six-person sitting cabin and there are eight bodies already squeezed in. Not just any people, either.

They are gypsies.

There is an uncomfortable silence among everyone present who is not a gypsy before I speak.

“Um, is this your cabin?” I ask.

“Of course,” one gypsy replies.

I nod, turn, and shoo my companions back into the dining car.

“Are they in our cabin?” Sheilds asks.

“I don’t know. They say it is theirs,” I answer. “Are we sure we have the right wagon?”

“I am sure that is our cabin,” Sheilds declares. “They need to leave.”

She extends her arm and points towards the corridor that leads to our cabin. What? Sheilds expects me to go back and throw them out? Why me? Why do we not simply take advantage of all this open space in the empty dining car for the trip? Nicole gives me an expectant look as well. Great. Now I must impress my future wife. I take a slow, deep breath. Surely Gypsies are not as dangerous as the German Mafia. I keep repeating this to myself as I walk back to the door of the cabin filled with the unwelcome, and unwashed, guests.

I slide open the door cautiously. Every pair of gypsy eyes in the room turn to me. I gulp.

“Excuse me. Do you have tickets for this cabin?” I firmly ask.

The gypsies disclose their complete surprise at being put on the spot for overtaking a cabin that is not theirs.

“We do not need tickets. We are gypsies.”

“We like this cabin.”

“We are gypsies, we mean you no harm,” one coyly remarks.

“I am sorry. If you do not have a ticket for this room, you need to get out,” I state, while standing at the door looking as menacing as I can as my knees are shaking.

Here’s the blurb

The best has been saved to last. Book 3 of a hilarious series of travel misadventures and dubious personal introspection by Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as Cholera in the 1850s.

From how to outwit the Italian police while trying to find parking in downtown Genoa, to how to negotiate exploring the Roman ruins of Plovdiv, Bulgaria while on crutches, to how to impress the German Mafia with 80s dance moves, to how to leave a lasting impression on a crowded bar in Gothenburg, Sweden after combining alcohol and antibiotics.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to rupture a disc or succumb to Dengue fever.

The book cover for How to Survive Making Yourself Look Silly While Dancing with the German Mafia at a Bavarian Nightclub and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips by Simon Yeats

Purchase Links

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CR6GDDXR/

Barnes and Noble

Meet the author

Simon Yeats has lived nine lives, and by all estimations, is fast running out of the number he has left. His life of globetrotting the globe was not the one he expected to lead. He grew up a quiet, shy boy teased by other kids on the playgrounds for his red hair. But he developed a keen wit and sense of humor to always see the funnier side of life.

With an overwhelming love of travel, a propensity to find trouble where there was none, and being a passionate advocate of mental health, Simon’s stories will leave a reader either rolling on the floor in tears of laughter, or breathing deeply that the adventures he has led were survived.

No author has laughed longer or cried with less restraint at the travails of life.

Author image of Simon Yeats showing a man wearing glasses.

Connect with the author

TIK TOK – https://www.tiktok.com/@authoryeats

INSTAGRAM – https://www.instagram.com/authoryeats/?hl=en

Blog tour poster listing all the blogs that that How to survive making yourselflook silly while dancing with the gernman mafia will be visiting

I’m delighted to spotlight new release Team Spirit, a humorous take on tennis club turmoil by RJ Gould #blogtour #newrelease

Here’s the blurb

Team Spirit: a humorous take on tennis club turmoil

Everything seems straightforward enough with agreement reached for the tennis club to hold social events at the nearby Dream Café while the clubhouse is being rebuilt.

When Oliver Kilroy is forced to resign as club chairman after taking a bribe from the builder, Laurie, his young and inexperienced deputy, is left in charge of running the club. He accepts the post on condition that the attractive Helen is prepared to support him as the new deputy.

The pair are faced with an unprecedented run of challenges. The builder is failing to deliver on time. A player’s dubious line calls are infuriating opponents. The WhatsApp group has become a hotbed of slanderous gossip. A middle-aged flirt is antagonising the female members. And poor behaviour at the Dream Café is threatening the agreement.

Helen and Laurie are struggling to cope, though tennis club problems are a distant second for Helen as she attempts to start a relationship with Laurie. She’s sure he also wants that but something major is going on in his life to prevent progress. What is that something and can it be overcome?

Purchase Links

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Team-Spirit-humorous-tennis-turmoil-ebook/dp/B0CY7HRQB1

https://www.amazon.com/Team-Spirit-humorous-tennis-turmoil-ebook/dp/B0CY7HRQB1

Meet the author

R J Gould writes contemporary fiction about relationships using a mix of wry humour and pathos to describe the tragi-comic life journeys of his protagonists. Team Spirit is his tenth novel and the fourth in the stand-alone ‘at the Dream Café’ series. He has been published by Headline Accent and Lume Books and also self-publishes. Before becoming a full-time author he worked in the education and charity sectors. In addition to his addiction to telling stories, he has somewhat milder addictions to playing tennis, watching film noir cinema, completing Wordle and eating dried mango slices. He is a member of Cambridge Writers, Society of Authors and the Romantic Novelists’ Association UK. He lives in Cambridge, England.

Connect with the author

Website: Twitter:

Facebook:Instagram:Goodreads

I’m welcoming Noni Valentine and her new novel, Humility and Tolerance, to the blog #newrelease #blogtour #historicalromance

Here’s the blurb

A sequel to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.

Seven years after Elizabeth Bennett married Fitzwilliam Darcy, they are still deeply in love, with two small children. But paradise is showing cracks now that Darcy’s aged housekeeper has died and Elizabeth must take up her duties. It’s more than one woman, even one as capable as Elizabeth, can manage.

Her sister Kitty, with Elizabeth and Jane’s help and a heroic effort on Kitty’s part, has outgrown her silly youth and matured into a sensible young woman—who, being sensible, spends as much time away from her parents and visiting her sisters as possible. Darcy’s sister Georgiana, with perhaps more influence from Elizabeth than is good for her, has become a confident, independent woman who is nevertheless ripe for romance. Charlotte Collins, newly widowed, is searching for a way out of the household of her husband’s crabbed patron, Lady Catherine, that doesn’t involve returning to her parents’ house.

Elizabeth sees a way to restore order to Pemberley and give herself a chance to to breathe: she offers Kitty a job as housekeeper of the estate, and Charlotte a job as governess of her adored children.

With these four women under one roof, chaos and the unexpected are inevitable. Both Kitty and Georgiana meet and begin falling in love with honorable, interesting men, neither of whom are gentlemen and therefore not considered eligible matches for them. Charlotte has the opposite problem: a childhood acquaintance who is now a Lord has become fixated on her and begins diligently wooing her, when all she wants is a quiet life and a chance to recover from eight years of marriage to a man she never loved.

When Elizabeth and Darcy learn of their sisters’ budding romances, each has the same reaction: delight at their sister-in-law’s choice and outrage at that of their sister. Now throw a ball into the mix, with Elizabeth’s mother bringing up forbidden topics from the past and her father hiding from the noise, Jane and Bingley attempting to calm the waters, Elizabeth trying to set up all three of the younger women, and Charlotte’s Lord pursuing her all over the dance floor—and an explosion is sure to happen.

This charming romance will delight all lovers of Jane Austen’s masterpiece who have ever wondered, “What happened next?”

Purchase Links

https://www.amazon.com/Humility-Tolerance-Noni-Valentine-ebook/dp/B0CWPWCSH5

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Humility-Tolerance-Noni-Valentine-ebook/dp/B0CWPWCSH5

Meet the author

Noni Valentine grew up in the north central part of the U.S., but moved away after graduating from high school, and never again stayed in one place for long. She has been writing for most of her life, but discovered Jane Austen as an adult and fell in love all over again.

She lives with a small menagerie of feathered and furry companions. Oh, almost forgot—there’s a human in that collection as well.

I’m delighted to welcome back Simon Yeats with an extract from How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips #blogtour #travelmemoir

Here’s an excerpt from How to Avoid Getting Mugged in Rio de Janeiro by Singing Songs by The Police and Other Lesser Known Travel Tips

My friends wanted to go to Tijuana while they were visiting me in Los Angeles. Then things got out of control.

After crossing the walking bridge over the Tijuana River, which serves as both the city’s sewerage outlet and major water supply, a person enters Zona Centro. I count nine strip clubs on the first street. Ten, if I include Déjà Vu Showgirls back on the other side of the river. This is my favorite thing to do when traveling – count.

Within ten minutes of being in Tijuana, the three of us are bored. Any person who is not crazy about buying knickknacks with a Mexican flag on them would be bored. We could have stayed at the Outlet Mall and been as bored, while being closer to the car. I make a joke with Jim that it is a good thing we are not here to watch the mythical Tijuana woman and donkey show.

Jim and Sheilds’ ears prick up.

What is that about a grotesque sex show that allegedly exists somewhere along the pristine streets of Tijuana?

“Do you know where they have it?”

“I have no idea.”

“We have to see it.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Yes, we do. We are going.”

“We are not going to sit through a fucking matinee of a woman getting amorous with a donkey.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Explain to me again why we are mates, Sheilds?”

The mere idea of the existence of a woman and donkey show churns my stomach. This is Tijuana’s legend. A dirty, disgusting myth that should only arouse blind drunk sailors and animal activists. But Jim and Sheilds are all over it like white on rice. These two deviants were made for each other.

I try to explain to them that it is a fable. Like the lost gold city of El Dorado, the resting place of Noah’s Ark, or the now uninteresting Bermuda triangle. However, the genie is out of the bottle. They insist we are going to find it and watch.

For God’s sake, why?

An important tip to remember when traveling in a group that is looking to find a cheap thrill. Make sure the weird sexual proclivities of all members are closely aligned. Or, if a person is as boring as I am, only travel with people who have been desexed.

Sheilds and Jim do not seem to understand, or care. If this show really existed, its story would not be shrouded in a veil of mystery, now would it? It is certainly not marked on any of the maps of walking tours of Tijuana.

“We need to get out of the main tourist area, then.”

“Hell no,” I scream. “If I can’t be so close to the border that when I yell ‘help,’ a US marine is within earshot, we do not go a fucking step further.”

“Pussy.”

These two are paying no mind to the inherent dangers of being in the most dangerous city on earth. The town with the world’s highest murder rate per capita. They are adamant that no cost is too high to find the club that has the women and donkey show.

“We are on an adventure.”

Here’s the blurb

Australian author Simon Yeats, who from an early age learned that the best way to approach the misfortunes of this world is to laugh about it.

Simon shares his comedic insights into the unusual and uproarious elements of living life as an Aussie ex-pat and having a sense of Wanderlust as pervasive as the Bubonic Plague in the 1300s.

From what to do when several people converge to rob you after midnight on a deserted Copacabana Beach, to how to save the Sierra Mountain Range from a wildfire outbreak due to a lack of quality toilet paper, to where not to go in Tijuana when trying to locate the origins to stories of the city’s mythical adult entertainment, to how to save yourself from drowning when caught in a storm while sailing off the California coast.

Simon Yeats has gone into the world and experienced all the out of the ordinary moments for you to sit back and enjoy the experience without the need to lose an eye or damage your liver.